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"No Sex" - Is That What S/he Said After Intended Kids? These Are What To Do

Most couples do complain of their partner not having sex with them after having kids. The reasons to these maybe

They have a feeling of depression;
They could be having some health related problem that is probably affecting their sex drive;
Their sexual wants is been met elsewhere and so don’t feel the urge to have sex with their own partner;
Or they no longer have a feeling of emotional connection with their partner
Sex and kids

Also, in most cases, couples are afraid of getting other kids and so might not want to have sex. The importance of sex in every marriage is not what should be over-looked by every couple. Sex brings more love and unity between the partners. Sex brings a closer and intimate relationship between couples because it is a bond. Sex is what is meant to be given to only our partners. A time of sex is also the time both couples share their feelings. It’s a time where they expose their secrets as to where to be touched and where not to. Having sex together as a couple connects the two together like no other. Medical practitioners have also confirmed the health benefits of sex in marriage.

Now, we see a situation of where the couples after having 3-4 kids are finding it hard to have sex. This sexless period might not go well with one of the partner and due to this; they no longer feel loved by the other partner. They become emotionally depressed, heart-broken and in no time, the marriage will crash as a result of one partner not agreeing to have sex again.

Here are the things to do when your partner keeps saying NO to sex after the intended kids:

1. Let them know your feelings

The more you keep hiding your feelings towards sex, the more heart-broken and hurt you become. It is better you start communicating how you feel to your partner.

When speaking to your partner about their attitudes towards sex, you don’t have to criticize or judge them. You just have to let them know how insecure you feel.

Telling your partner how deep you’ve been hurt and how you no longer feel loved as a result of their saying no to sex is a best way to approach such issues.

Revealing your need for sex in an angry mood won’t go a long way in helping matters. It will get it worsened as no one would want to have sex with an angry spouse. If you are angry that your partner is no longer having sex with you-it’s normal-but don’t communicate it in an angry tone when telling how you feel to your partner. You can share your feelings in openness of mind and in love. In doing so, their attitudes towards sex could probably change for the better.

2. Be in good shape


You will quiet agree with me that after having kids, most couples no longer see the need to look beautiful and charming. If the outlook of a partner doesn’t suite well to the liking of the other partner, it may make them say NO to sex. Your appearance matters a lot if you really want your partner to have sex with you.

After having kids, you can still look beautiful and robust as before. Take care of yourself as you used to do, go on regular exercise with your spouse, eat good meals, apply neat and moderate make-ups, and wear nice and sexy clothes. Though, you might not have all the time to do all these-the kids are there to care for, the work lying in the office for you and all that-but I must say that getting back into good shape will certainly drive your partner into agreeing to have sex with you. Having kids shouldn’t stop you from enjoying each other.

Take your time out and re-shape back your body. Do it constantly. Believe me; your partner would come asking for sex from you.

Watch out : 5 Things That Show Your Relationship Is Ending 

3. Re-kindle your date nights


Another approach to getting your partners have sex with you is going on date nights. You could keep the kids with your relatives and spend the night together. During this time, you could both share your feelings as regarding the sex issue. Get to know why your partner is saying no.

A woman once complained that her husband is no longer having sex with her after having 3 kids and when she peacefully asked the man, he said that her butts was too big and he doesn’t like it. This could be the truth. After having children and you find out that you’ve started putting on much weight that isn’t appealing to your partner, you need to do something fast about it.

Re-kindling your date nights will also help you understand the kinds of styles and positions your partner desire in bed. You could find out their problem by asking them why they no longer want to have sex with you. If it’s a problem that needs medical attention, you two can encourage each other in love and sincerity of hearts. If it’s not that a serious issue and that their sex life is just down maybe due to too much stress or work load, you can re-kindle the passion and urge for sex through your mode of communication, gestures and your romantic looks.

Don’t let the fear of been neglected arise when your partner says no to you, it will only get you down emotionally, leaving you completely depressed. Be sincere to yourself and let your partner know how much of the physical affection you’ve missed from them.

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